I set off on Saturday the 1^st of May.  The plane trip was uneventful except for the echo of warnings I’d received from family and friends (and some Russians) about the safety of a westerner travelling alone during the ‘west/east’ conflict caused by the Kosovo crisis.  Yet, during my whole stay in Moscow, Kosovo was only mentioned once.  The Russians that I met were friendly, courteous and most of them were a lot of fun too.  I had a GREAT time! 

When I finally arrived at Sheremetyevo Airport (Moscow has four airports), I was met by my good internet buddy Vladimir a fellow Sci Fi fanatic who had kindly arranged transport for me. After a short wait, we drove to my hotel, The Hotel Ministry of Defence (there’s nothing like feeling safe in a strange country huh?). 

On the way we stopped to look at a view of the city from the Moscow University Building,  It was about a mile away in this picture, but it’s austere magnificence was captivating (and a little overpowering).  The view in the opposite direction however was breathtaking.  Moscow can best be described as a sprawling metropolis with it’s own unique style and architecture.   You may think for instance, that the skyline is quite modest and un-intimidating and at first glance it is.  But then you realise that the buildings in the distance are all at least twenty stories high.  You don’t seem to get skyscrapers concentrated in one particular place, they are all around, everything seems to be done on a large scale, alleyways the size of British Motorways, the largest underground in the world, the monstrous abundance of towering statues and austere monuments. Moscow, I think, was built to be impressive – and it doesn’t disappoint.   

The hotel was really cool.  It was built as a hotel for visiting military personnel and officers of the Ministry of Defence.  My first impression was of a slightly run down but well cared building run by people who took pride in their work but were possibly a little under-resourced.  It had a couple of hundred rooms but it seemed deserted – During my whole stay there I only noticed one or two other guests.   It also used the Moscow central heating system – most of the hot water in the city is controlled by one network of heating pipes.  Unfortunately the hotel was really cold!  Moscow had a very warm April and certain hateful and pretty powerful geezer had decided to turn the heating off!  Everywhere in Moscow experienced an unusual cold spell without the aid of central heating. 

That night I went out for a drink with Vladimir and we talked about the Internet and Sci Fi and the obligatory conversation about women, before I returned to the hotel to get an early night.  I was getting up at 5.30am to collect Katya from the airport.  She was travelling from Siberia and would arrive at 8.15 am the next morning. 

The geezer by the Volvo is Alex the driver I hired to take me to meet Katya.  He’s a fairly amenable bloke and we chatted about various things before he suddenly asked what my feelings were about Kosovo.  Alarm bells started ringing and I tried to act dumb about the whole thing.  To be honest, I was minutes away from meeting Katie and not very interested in talking about the war.  Alex was most certainly a Serbian sympathiser.  I ignored him except for the odd comment that I was against any country that broke the Geneva Convention.  He continued his argument all the way to the airport and even to the arrival lounge.  Then, to the twittering of an insignificant taxi driver, I saw her. 

Katie looked lovely, stunning in fact.  This vision of loveliness walked towards me with a big smile and we hugged warmly.  I was really quite stunned to finally meet her.  We chatted slightly nervously as we went back to the car park (Alex didn’t continue his argument, thank goodness).  Then we chatted and giggled all the way back to the Hotel.  I paid Alex (he should have paid me!) and Katie checked into her room.  Once she had unpacked we chatted some more and planned our holiday exploring Moscow. 

For obvious reasons I’m not going to go into any detail about mine and Katya’s relationship, excepting that I was, and still am, totally crazy about her.  We were both pleased to find that we are as close in real life as we are virtually and we are both very happy. 

Saturday was spent chatting and exploring the local area.  The hotel was situated in the South West part of the city under the domineering shadow of the University building.  There were shops close-by and Katie took me to buy some bread and cheese for dinner at a local store (like a Spar shop or 7-11 store).  We both thought it peculiar that the hotel did not have a restaurant, it was a big hotel and yet there was only a breakfast area on the ground floor which was shut at night! 

I should tell you that when I got back to England, a work colleague told me that the hotel had a really good restaurant on the tenth floor!  We never even knew it was there!  The Hotel Ministry of Defence is VERY shy in the promotion of its facilities! 

On the Sunday we met up with a mutual lady lexxian friend called Danya (in the #lexx chatroom she is known as Lamia).  Danya had collaborated with Katie on producing reviews of lexx episodes for Katie’s LEXX site. They are good friends and yet they had never met.  It was a real pleasure to meet her and her friend Paulina.  We went to a place called the Arbat, which as far as I was concerned, was famous for having the first Macdonald’s in Russia.  I treated them all to a McDonalds beefburger ;-)  I know, but I couldn’t resist seeing if a Russian Macdonald’s would be different from any other (and there was central heating!).  Unfortunately is was just as bad as anywhere else, but the place was warm and the food was hot… or warm at least.  

Later Danya suggested that we have a ‘beer on the roof’.  People are allowed to drink in public but only in places that are not crowded.  I thought she was joking – it was cold and windy and there was no way I was going to drink cold beer in on top of a windy roof! I managed to persuade the girls to return to the hotel for a beer and a cosy chat.   We escorted them back to the tube station a few hours later. I’d had spoken to Danya in IRC on many occasions and we had become good friends. Unfortunately she was a lot more confident (and very good) at communicating in written English but didn’t speak much in fact she hardly said a word to me, which was sad even if it was understandable.  I wouldn’t see her again on my trip to Moscow, which was also sad, she’s a really nice person. 

On Tuesday the benefits of touring Moscow with a Russian really showed.  Katie was able to show me round the centre of Moscow and especially Red Square.   We took a bus from near the hotel, then enjoyed the amazing Moscow Metro underground. 

The Metro is completely unique.  The trains are a little old and yet full of character, the New York tube trains seem faster and quieter and the  London Underground seems more exciting, but for sheer splendour, the Moscow Metro is simply wonderful.  There are marble floors and walls and it’s clean and even warm!  In some stations there are chandeliers on the ceiling and in most there are statues and works of art gracing the platform or the walls.   I could quite happily visit all the tube stations in Moscow.  Three roubles or about 8 pence (12cents) would take you almost anywhere.

A short walk from the OXOTHblN tube station (that’s as close to Cyrillic as I can get on this keyboard - pronounced Akhatniy), we gazed on Red Square.   This was the realisation of a dream for me.  Ever since seeing Bresznev overseeing the splendour and rather intimidating (for the westerner anyway) Mayday Parade, I just knew that someday I would visit. 

When Katie and I entered the square we ogled the Kremlin, the hugeness of the square, and the Majesty of St. Basil’s.  Listening to Katie explain the history of the place was simply wonderful, so maybe you should experience it for yourself …

I was amazed to see the Moscow University Building which looked HUGE even though it was about 15 miles away!

On Wednesday, Katie and I had a real treat.  We went to see the Space exhibition at.  We are both sci fi nuts and really wanted to see the monuments of the Russian Space Programme (which of course are considerable, First satellite in space, first man in space, first space walk, first landing on the moon…. ) and we saw many monuments and statues dedicated to some of the great heroes of spaceflight.

This is Katie looking at a big erection dedicated to the Russian space programme.  The picture doesn’t do it justice, the statue (of a rocket) was absolutely enormous!  At it’s base, there was a bronze monument that made both of us giggle.  It seemed to me to be very serious and depicted many people all pointing … erm…. somewhere.

On Thursday we headed off for an another exhibition area that contained a large number of majestic buildings, monuments and statues.  It was a magical place from a tourist’s point of view.  The huge entrance was crowned with a gold bail of hey!  Agriculture and Industry seems to be a central theme of the Soviet Union.  In the west I can’t help feeling that such a monument would have been crowned with a large gold bag of money!

One particular monument was of fifteen statues of women depicting each of the Soviet States.  Katie of course could name each of them, but I was simply taken in by its size.  The Russians firmly believe that if your gonna do the statue thing, you might as well do it as big as it can be done!

We also saw one of the Vostock rockets and later we walked to another huge monument, a  whopping statue of a man carrying a hammer and a woman carrying a cycle was designed by a woman and depicts the union of agriculture and industry.   It was hugely impressive and stands about 150 feet high.  Katie was standing about a thousand feet away.  The whole place was are inspiring.

We then went to a great Mexican restaurant and had Berito’s and Margaritas before heading off to a bar called the Vermel.  We had arranged to meet Vladimir and a few friends for drinks.

The Vermel was great, we wanted to see what the place was like since we would be meeting a group of fellow LEXX fanatics the next night.  We arrived and met with Vladimir, Mike, Ann and a few others.  It was a great night!  The beer was cool and the company warm and the music was hot.  Mike taught me some great Russian swear words which I insisted on reading out loud to the horror of Katie and Ann who chased me around trying to get the list off me. 

We also danced and drunk copious amounts  of a beer called Baltica, which is great and REALLY strong.  At the end of the night there was only me and Katie left, so we danced some more.  Katie is a great dancer, she has a style all her own, she dances like…  like….  How can I say, a woman possessed!  Katie gets on the dancefloor and simply let’s herself go!

At about 1am we walked back through Red Square being silly and generally being very mushy about each other.  It was a great night out and we had both rarely been happier.  We caught the last metro train home and I was feeling a little tired, Katie insists that I was drunk, but I was just tired - honest!

Friday was the day of the Heretics Ball, a mini LEXX Convention that Katie and I had organised for Russian LEXX fans.  Paul Donovan (one of the writers, producers and directors of the show) had kindly given me some LEXX merchandise to pass out.

We had arranged to meet with one such LEXX fan that had taken the night train from St. Petersburg.  We met opposite Lenin’s tomb before we headed off to the Vermel.

We gradually joined by Gerda (one of the Moscow Squishes), Mike, Victoria, Vladimir, Ana, Mustafa, Daniel, Leonoid and his girlfriend.  As is usual at Lexxian get-togethers, we all got on really well.  I was even made an honorary Squishy by Gerda and received a clay pendant which I proudly wore. 

This is a picture of Maria, Gerda and Katie in front of a LEXX poster that we hung on the wall.  We had our own little corner of the Vermel where all things LEXX were discussed.  Maria for instance is NOT a Heretic!!  She insists on still supporting the Divine Order and insists of greeting everyone with an, “I Worship His Shadow.”  

We paused for a respectful toast to the chief Lexxian Splarka who had inspired many of us with his LEXX web site and perseverance developing the #lexx chatroom.  He was sorely missed.

As the alcohol flowed we conversations degenerated into topics such as women/blokes, web sites and then, even worse, Pistachio Nut Shell art!  Kai’s handy wrist gadget and the lexx logo were produced and there was much debate on the figures of Kai and Xev.  The girls were particularly unimpressed by the fact that there were only Xev posters.

The evening was a great success, it was great to meet everyone and I think a good evening was had by all.  Towards the end of the night….. well, actually I can’t remember much after demonstrating to Mike and Vladimir how to mix Tequila Slammers.

On Saturday Katie had to leave for Siberia, we drove to Domodyedava Airport and said long and fairly sad goodbye.   My last night in Moscow was spent in the hotel packing and trying to get through the last of the Vodka.

Next day I waited patiently for the taxi in the Hotel Foyer.  The lady receptionist who origionally signed me in helped me checkout.  She was a lovely person and I warmly mentioned that my stay at the hotel had been very nice.  She smiled and said that she hoped I would return on my next trip to Moscow.

While still waiting for the taxi, she approached a few minutes later armed with a dictionary.  She said that the cleaner had been cleaning the room and noticed that a coat hanger was missing.  She didn’t so much accuse me of stealing as suggest that I packed it in my bags by mistake (to be honest, I remember packing a jacket and not bothering to take out the hanger, it was only plastic).  So it was with an air of embarrassed humour that I opened my bag and took out the offending hanger, and made the long walk to reception to hand it in.  As the taxi arrived I chuckled at the idea of being accused of steeling a coat hanger from Moscow’s ‘Hotel Ministry of Defence’.

As I left Moscow from Sheremetyevo Airport, I couldn’t help think that the holiday I had always dreamed of had been completely opposite from what I had expected. There was no dark mystery or the cold impersonality and there wasn’t the usual subtle arrogance to westerners that I’d come to expect when travelling in other Easter European countries.  Perhaps my stay in Moscow had been so enjoyable because I enjoyed the protected of a lovely 5’ Siberian girl, or perhaps meeting Katya had made me see things through rose coloured spectacles.

My holiday Moscow was probably the best I’ve ever had and I’m already saving for my next trip, to Siberia!